<%
end function
set objEntry = new BlogEntry
objEntry.Title = "t|crappy hosts|Christmas Tunes"
objEntry.Author = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorNickname = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorEmail = "blogger@just-jessica.com"
objEntry.AuthorURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com"
objEntry.DateTime = "Wednesday, December 21, 2005"
objEntry.Number = "113516689686042167"
objEntry.ArchiveFileName = "2005_12_01_archive.html"
objEntry.PermalinkURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com/2005/12/tcrappy-hostschristmas-tunes.html"
'objEntry.Control = ""
set aryEntries(iPostCount) = objEntry
iPostCount=iPostCount+1
function WriteBody113516689686042167
%>That's the second time 7host have shut my site down for going over my bandwidth limit without any kind of notification! They claim they emailed me but I've been all through my emails and my spam folder and there is no sign of it. The cheapo lying b*stards! It is very cheap hosting though.<%
end function
function WriteComments113516689686042167
%>
<%
end function
set objEntry = new BlogEntry
objEntry.Title = "t|Comments|not much"
objEntry.Author = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorNickname = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorEmail = "blogger@just-jessica.com"
objEntry.AuthorURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com"
objEntry.DateTime = "Thursday, December 15, 2005"
objEntry.Number = "113464381147005119"
objEntry.ArchiveFileName = "2005_12_01_archive.html"
objEntry.PermalinkURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com/2005/12/tcommentsnot-much.html"
'objEntry.Control = ""
set aryEntries(iPostCount) = objEntry
iPostCount=iPostCount+1
function WriteBody113464381147005119
%>I just installed this neat little firefox tool from google, web comments. It uses a link search on google blogs to show you what people are saying about the page you're currently looking at. So by posting a comment about Google, and linking to Google, a snippet of this blog post will popup when people look at the Google homepage. That should get me some traffic! ;)<%
end function
function WriteComments113464381147005119
%>
Lana use FF and forget IE - don't think you'll want to go back.
And thanks Jessica, your pre-emptive strike has left me one subject less to blog about - and god knows I can never think of anything in the first place! :)
<%
end function
set objEntry = new BlogEntry
objEntry.Title = "t|Tranniesphere Map|"
objEntry.Author = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorNickname = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorEmail = "blogger@just-jessica.com"
objEntry.AuthorURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com"
objEntry.DateTime = "Tuesday, December 06, 2005"
objEntry.Number = "113387874943219325"
objEntry.ArchiveFileName = "2005_12_01_archive.html"
objEntry.PermalinkURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com/2005/12/ttranniesphere-map.html"
'objEntry.Control = ""
set aryEntries(iPostCount) = objEntry
iPostCount=iPostCount+1
function WriteBody113387874943219325
%>This is a map of the tranny blogging community based on visitors passing through my site generated by the community mapping feature on Surf Tail. It's still in beta so it's a bit rough, but I think it's kinda cool, even if I do say so myself :)<%
end function
function WriteComments113387874943219325
%>
Very nice! But I'm worried about the Linux Task Force browsing my blog. Why would they be interested in Tranny Angst? Sometimes, you can have too much information ;)
I still think Surf Tail's great; at times though it doesn't display a list of anything, just what looks to be a tiny window into a big web page. When there's nobody surfing your page? A wee buglet? (I'm using FireFox, maybe it's supposed to do that).
<%
end function
set objEntry = new BlogEntry
objEntry.Title = "t|Strip Poker video game!|Prince - Kiss"
objEntry.Author = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorNickname = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorEmail = "blogger@just-jessica.com"
objEntry.AuthorURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com"
objEntry.DateTime = "Sunday, December 04, 2005"
objEntry.Number = "113373804834886122"
objEntry.ArchiveFileName = "2005_12_01_archive.html"
objEntry.PermalinkURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com/2005/12/tstrip-poker-video-gameprince-kiss.html"
'objEntry.Control = ""
set aryEntries(iPostCount) = objEntry
iPostCount=iPostCount+1
function WriteBody113373804834886122
%>This is the direct result of an evening at home alone with a bottle of vodka and a camcorder, but I think it's pretty funny and should probably win a prize or something! :)
I think Becky meant zips on boots so lol that would definitely be kinky :)
Elyse:
Hmm...try as I might, I just can't get Jessica to take off her skirt! In fact, I think it might be rigged at that point! You're not holding out on us, are you Jess? ;)
Anonymous:
i think a way to take off boots sexually is to let your partner do it!
<%
end function
set objEntry = new BlogEntry
objEntry.Title = "t|In the beginning|RADIOHEAD! on jools holland :-D"
objEntry.Author = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorNickname = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorEmail = "blogger@just-jessica.com"
objEntry.AuthorURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com"
objEntry.DateTime = "Saturday, December 03, 2005"
objEntry.Number = "113357075457799222"
objEntry.ArchiveFileName = "2005_12_01_archive.html"
objEntry.PermalinkURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com/2005/12/tin-beginningradiohead-on-jools.html"
'objEntry.Control = ""
set aryEntries(iPostCount) = objEntry
iPostCount=iPostCount+1
function WriteBody113357075457799222
%>CAUTION: The video below may break the illusion a little bit! It really is awful :-/
In the begining there was mumbling and awkwardness. This video is from my makeover at Pandoras, it was the most 'out' thing I'd done at that time (and one of the most expensive things!) I had to travel down to London, get a hotel, my friend Linzi came with me. We got the tube out to some god forsaken desolate looking suburb, then a taxi out to a grotty looking council estate with blocks of flats. Linzi pointed out some homophobic graffiti (for some reason that sticks in my mind) We found the flat and were greeted at the door by Pandora herself! A big blonde brash looking woman, and that was the last we saw of her! The makeover was done by one of her minions, which we saw very little of too! The website 3 hours, but I didn't think that would include waiting! Anyway, the makeover was ok, if a bit draggy, so here's the vid of me mincing about nervously and being very grateful. (Those pics still rank highest in my gallery!)
<%
end function
function WriteComments113357075457799222
%>
<%
end function
set objEntry = new BlogEntry
objEntry.Title = "t|Very 'cool'|Coldplay - Fix You"
objEntry.Author = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorNickname = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorEmail = "blogger@just-jessica.com"
objEntry.AuthorURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com"
objEntry.DateTime = "Friday, December 02, 2005"
objEntry.Number = "113353434228831434"
objEntry.ArchiveFileName = "2005_12_01_archive.html"
objEntry.PermalinkURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com/2005/12/tvery-coolcoldplay-fix-you.html"
'objEntry.Control = ""
set aryEntries(iPostCount) = objEntry
iPostCount=iPostCount+1
function WriteBody113353434228831434
%>I promise I won't keep posting about snowboarding! There's nothing tranny about it, but I just had to show you all this, the largest indoor snowslope in the world! Shame it's in the Arab Emirates, and they're a bit funny about gay trannies :-/
I nearly had to go to Saudi Arabia for work, it was just around the time of the last bomb attacks on the British Embassy, I was a little bit nervous! My friend ended up going but he was fine cuz he looks like an arab, he even bought an outfit and christened (not the right word!) himself Sheik Yoass :)
And to link it all back to the snowboarding thing, here's the Sheik at this years snowbombing that I missed cuz I broke my foot :(<%
end function
function WriteComments113353434228831434
%>
<%
end function
set objEntry = new BlogEntry
objEntry.Title = "t|What not to wear|The Avalanches - Since I left you"
objEntry.Author = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorNickname = "Jessica"
objEntry.AuthorEmail = "blogger@just-jessica.com"
objEntry.AuthorURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com"
objEntry.DateTime = "Thursday, December 01, 2005"
objEntry.Number = "113346400872146906"
objEntry.ArchiveFileName = "2005_12_01_archive.html"
objEntry.PermalinkURL = "http://www.just-jessica.com/2005/12/twhat-not-to-wearthe-avalanches-since.html"
'objEntry.Control = ""
set aryEntries(iPostCount) = objEntry
iPostCount=iPostCount+1
function WriteBody113346400872146906
%>I love Trinny and Susannah, they're great, they always make me smile and they really seem to care about what they do. That's why I decided to email the show and suggest they do a TGirl special! (please do the same). There are plenty of tricks you can do with clothes to make a male frame look more female, I know all the basic ground rules, but I keep choosing to ignore them :-/ I think sometimes it can work in a really ridiculous over the top drag queen sort of way, but generally it fails miserably (I'm not linking to them!).
It's time I started doing this properly and following some of the rules, so I'm going to try and compile a list here for you lot to add to and as a reference for anyone else who needs it!
Lack of Hips
The easiest way to disguise the bean pole figure is to wear a skirt that sticks out as if there are hips there. You should avoid shapeless hangy-down dresses, go for tighter shaped dresses, especially if they have a little flare out at the waist. Low hipster trousers are also good for accentuating your waist line. Trousers with details like side pockets can make you look wider.
Broad Shoulders
Wide neck and wrap around tops are great for making your shoulders look less broad. Fishtail skirts or boot cut (flared) trousers help balance out the width. You should avoid halter necks and little strappy tops, they really accentuate the width.
Very Tall
Of course we all know vertical stripes make you look tall and thin, horizontal stripes make you look a bit shorter and wider. I've no idea what diagonal stripes do. If you've got long legs like me, boot cut low jeans are a good idea (super mini skirts make them look much longer!) and of course if you want to be shorter, wear lower heels!.
Beer Gut
I don't have this problem ;) but it's a terrible affliction for some of us cursed with testosterone (of course it's got nothing to do with sitting on the sofa watching footy and swigging carling!) There are things you can do to hide it. Flat-fronted trousers and skirts are really flattering for a larger tummy. Try to avoid pleats and front zips - side and back zips are a much more flattering option. Low-waisted trousers make the stomach look smaller. Don't wear anything that's gathered at the waist. Wear soft, forgiving fabrics that don't cling to the tummy. Wrap-around tops create folds across the tummy that detract from any other rippling in that area. Avoid belted jackets and coats, the belt will ride up and it'll look like you're pregnant!
Big Hands
Rings and nail varnish can help detract from the size of the hands, also long stick on nails can make your hands look longer and thinner. Cuffs can also be a good idea.
Last but not least: Adams Apple
If your adams apple is really a problem then you can just cover it with a collar or choker, but you'd be surprised how few people notice them!
Please comment with any of your own ideas and experiences and I'll add them to the list. Of course rules are made to be broken, and sometimes when you're 6'4" it's fun to put 5" heels on and tower over everyone, great for getting served at the bar! :)<%
end function
function WriteComments113346400872146906
%>
Drat - Jess, why couldn't you have posted this 24 hours earlier? I've just ordered a halterneck dress from the States :( I love Suzie and Trinny too; the idea of a Tranny special is soooo good! Now: who would we nominate to get a makeover? Who was the worst-dressed tranny at Transpocalypse? Trouble is, for £2,000 in clothes and a bunch of good advice from those girls, I would *willingly* be the worst-dressed tranny!
This is a map of the tranny blogging community based on visitors passing through my site generated by the community mapping feature on Surf Tail. It's still in beta so it's a bit rough, but I think it's kinda cool, even if I do say so myself :)<%
end function
function WriteComments113387874943219325
%>
Have a Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.
xoxo